Bobby Earl Life

High Blood Pressure. I’ve had it for some time now. It’s always teetering on the brink of requiring attention and just being a little too high. A few weeks ago I started getting bad headaches. Sure, just headaches. Take some Tylenol and you’ll be fine. My case is a little unique. I NEVER get headaches. I could probably count the number of headaches I’ve ever gotten on my two hands (that means no more than ten). After about the fourth day of my headaches I decided I needed to do something. I went to one of those crazy little machines that takes your blood pressure at Eckerds (I’m sure that’s now how you spell it but that’s how I say it). 159 over 97. Poopie. Way to high.

One EKG, one blood sample, one urine sample, and two x-rays later she says I have the string things around my heart. I have to change my diet. No more than 3 grams of salt per day and no alcohol. Plus, gotta take this tiny pill every day. One small problem there, I can’t swallow pills. “Well if you want to get better then you’ll learn” Amazingly I learned how to swallow pills.

Weekend: Two lacrosse games later, I’m still intact. On Friday I drove down to Charleston and stayed with Ashley and her family. Saturday we played the Citadel. The first half was a great game. Went into halftime tied at 7. Do to other obligations and injuries our bench was very thin. The lack of subs caused us to get tired. They simply had the legs to beat us. Ended up losing 21 – 8 (I think). Had we had all of our players it would’ve been a much closer game and if the time keepers weren’t idiots. No need to make excuses though. Sunday’s game against Western Carolina ended up a win for us. They were also a small team. I had some great hits. Final score 11 – 2 (I think again).

Monday: Valentine’s Day. A day that will either make you or break you. Luckily this year it was a good one. After limping in soreness all day and having a horrible headache Chip and I both cooked for our respective dates. We also had Tony be our waiter, tux included. It was very nice and romantic. I had a good time with Ashley and my roomates.

Tuesday: The headache is still here. I know lots of people get headaches lots of times but for me their big deals simply because I never get them. When I do, it’s big. I mean I’m like a vegetable. I went and got my blood pressure taken by one of those machines, very high, so tomorrow I have a doctor’s appointment. I know he’s gonna say I need to exercise more and eat better. This can be my inspiration, to get rid of those damn headaches. Plus, you know I have to get back down to my bikini weight.

I know December is a long time away. More specifically December 16, which is nearly ten months and twenty-two days away. Despite the fact, I can’t help but already start and wonder what I’m gonna do after I walk across that stage. I really have no clue what I want to do. There are three major options I have.

• Graduate School

Originally never an option. There more I think about it though it seems possible. I’ve been in school this long, why stop now? If I am to try graduate school I have to get some things into gear very soon. I need to take the GRE and do well on it. I also need try with 100% of my effort in raising my GPA. That including dropping all thing extracurricular, possibly even taking some easy summer classes just to raise it.

• Military

I have thought about the military for some time now. Even since I was younger. I’m not sure of which branch I would even join. Just want to be able to say, I joined the armed forces, I served my country. This option would require an obvious change in my eating and exercise habits in order to get into shape. Lots of times they’ll pay for more education and pay off your old loans.

• Get a job

The most practical and easiest choice I have. I started looking around for jobs and found lots of well paying jobs that I was qualified for. Obviously it would deal with computers

To some this wouldn’t be such a hard choice. What makes this decision harder for me is I have no objection to moving. Matter-of-fact I think I’d like to get away for a while. I like this area, I like this state, but I want to live outside of SC for part of my life. My thoughts can be seen here. Whatever decision I make, I know it well be thought out and that I’ll have fun.

I know it’s been a while. Quite possibly the longest span without writing since this semester. I disappeared for a while. It was a dark time that took lots of love from family and friends to get through. Thanks to everyone for that.

Let me give you a little run down of what’s been going on. I’ve got lots of sleep. Lots of much needed rest and relaxation. I feel prepared to take on this 18 hour semester. I got a new cell phone. Pretty good deal actually. My mother got it for free on her plan and just go to give it to me. I got a new car: a ’98 Ford Explorer. It’s well used but it should last me for a while which is good. For the past two years I graciously volunteered to be the designated driver for my friends in Rock Hill on New Years. This being my first new years as 21, I decided I wanted to go out. Some friends booked a motel room nearly blocks from uptown Charlotte with the intention of going out to the local bars and watching the fireworks from there. Instead, while waiting outside on my friends to return some drunk guy started talking crap about another friend. I was very polite and asked him to stop. I thought everything was fine and then that SOB punched me in the side of the face. After what felt like an eternity of shock he started to hit me again. I decided one of his girly punches was enough and “bull-rushed” him against the hotel, grabbed him by the collar and threw him down, literally. I was on top of him about to unleash when his friends pulled me off. Luckily they got mad at him and made him leave. I ended up being so mad that night I couldn’t sleep. Stayed up all night, even had the continental breakfast at 6AM and talked to the manager for about an hour and a half.

I am close. I know I am. The closer I get the further away it feels though. Kind of like that one the more education you get, the more you realize just how little you know, or something like that. I feel like running away right now. I feel like going where no one knows me. Where I have no obligations. There are plenty of people in life that put themselves first, but somehow I haven’t become one of those people. Just recently someone told me they felt that I looked down upon everyone else. As if I were better than every single other person. If I do come across like that then I’m sorry. I never wanted anyone to think I was better than them. In fact, I feel like I’m just the opposite. I am constantly worrying about this, worrying about that, I never get to worry about me. That’s not healthy at all.

Back to running away, I know it’s such a childish thing to do but it’s what I feel would be best. If I just leave all my problems in the past. I can go away, start fresh and not have to worry about anyone else but me. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with putting yourself first. I feel like giving up. Saying I couldn’t hack it. I wasn’t good enough to handle it. Plenty of people before me have given up and had a decent life. Why should I be any different?

I started. I wrote. I read. I deleted.

For some reason I can’t seem to bring myself to always write what I’m feeling. I am working on it I promise. Just like the webcam. I’m working on that one too. As a start I have decided to write about some things I would like to accomplish in my life before I die. This list is in no order, only other that I think about it. I might as well go ahead and tell you that I’m not expecting myself to think of everything at once. There is a strong possiblity that I will be going back and adding things. Luckily thanks to those that commented I know people read it. Actually I knew people read it because I track my statistics but that’s boring to most. As I started typing this I got Deja Vu. That was exciting. If you feel the need to write a list well then go right ahead.

I’ll bet you have no idea what that red flag is doing in here. Well let me enlighten you. That is the flag or Turkey. Hell of a flag, huh? I know you see the symbolism now. One misconception about college: Thanksgiving break does not mean a break from work, just from class. My family is going to the mountains to celebrate Thanksgiving. I have opted to stay here and eat with John’s family. They always feed me well. I just have too much work that requires the computer.

This morning I was supposed to have an on-site visit at Springs. I woke up and immediately began to regurgitate. At first I thought it was some bad pizza from Papa Johns but Chip had the same thing so that’s out. I had some chicken also from Papa Johns and a sald from The Whitehorse. The best I can figure it’s one of those that my stomach didn’t like. I didn’t feel well enough to be able to ride 45 minutes in a car to Lancaster. Instead we’ve pushed the meeting back to more-than-likely Monday. I felt better by lunch so apparently whatever it was just wanted to get out.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately and damn it sure does hurt. Ahh, I kid. I have been wondering what I’m gonna do when I graduate. I am nearly 100% sure I don’t wanna live in Rock Hill. It’s a nice place but I need to get away for a little while. I can see my epitaph now:

Born in York County

Learned in York County

Lived in York County

Died in York County

Sick and Sicker as opposed to Dumb and Dumber, crafty I know. So I went from feeling literally sick to feeling like someone took a mack truck and ran me over. I’m not sure if it’s just a cold or if it’s the flu or if I’m dying or what. Well I actually I know we’re all dying. It just feels like I’m dying faster than anyone else right now. It couldn’t have come at a worse time either. I had a huge meeting with my writing 465 teacher to discuss my project. I had to basically ask for an extension to get it done. I’ve already had two tests this week. One computer architecture and the other modern physics. Not exactly easy stuff. On top of that I have some database work I need to get done for Springs as well as fix a few things involved with Orientation.

The only real comfort I have (calling it comfort sounds evil but oh well) is that both Chip and Ashley are sick. Same symptoms as I so I have no doubt that we have the same thing. I’m sure the weather has a lot to do with it. Hot … Cold … Hot … VERY Cold … Hot. That kind of weather messes with your system. On top of that the college lifestyle is just asking to get sick. I’m like working the corner of virus lane or something. Constantly spreading yourself thin is not a good habit but almost a necessity if you want to do well. At least I have people to be sick with me.

We have our KS retreat this weekend. I’m debating on whether I’ll even be able to go. I have so much to do. Even more considering I have to play catch up for the first part of the week. I would really like to go simply because I’m ready for a break. The other exciting thing is that Thanksgiving Break is merely a week away. Once again, a much deserved “rest” from academics.

CSS is amazing. In approximately 1 hour I completely changed the look and feel of my site. It really only took that long because I had to tweak a few things, some one-time fixes kind of stuff. By simply changing one file I have completely redesigned my site. It’s just amazing.

Let me just give you a run down of the events happening lately. I can’t drive my truck because the tags are expired. I can’t afford to buy new tags because I’m too poor. My bicycle was stolen. If I find the bastard(s) that did it I am scared of what I will do. Lots of physical pain and suffering I’m sure. That pretty much leaves me bumming rides from people and walking. My pet mouse died. I’m also sick with a cold.

That’s a lot of crap on my shoulders, literally. Surprisingly though I’m not in a bad mood. I feel literally sick but I don’t have that weighed down feeling that I get a lot. Maybe that comes with age or maybe drugs. Nyquil is one hell of a drug. It knocks you out within 20 minutes.

I’m tired of typing. I feel as if I’m in the mood where I might type something and then regret it later. I don’t wanna do that because then I’d have to deal with. I’m out.

It’s so weird how quickly my mood can change. Sunday I was definitely sick. I’m not gonna lie, I think a lot of had to do with being hungover; however, I also think it was possibly I ate something the day before that contributed to it. I actually missed a group meeting and two Kappa Sigma events because I felt so bad. I slept through all of it. Thanks to those people that stepped up and did a lot of group work and Kappa Sigma stuff for me.

But just as quickly as it came, today I started to feel better. Classes went by fast. I’m not sure what changes my mood sometimes. I went from feeling like crap to having a pretty good day and almost feeling revived. Perhaps it was the 16 hours or so of sleep I got on Sunday. I’ve talked to some people about possibly having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). They all seem to agree, but I think a lot of college students have it. It’s just our lifestyle; having so much to do and worry about but getting very little sleep. Catching up on sleep I’m sure was a big change but sometimes it seems to be the small things that can really change your mood, whether it be just having someone ask if you’re okay or getting a good meal. I dunno, sounds weird but I think it’s true.